the eyes have it

 I have worn glasses since the third grade and, thanks to my parents' sympathy, contact lenses since seventh grade.  I used to be pretty blind.

Used to be???  That's right, a couple weeks ago I was able to have the LASIK surgery I had always dreamed of.  It was nothing short of a miracle.

I was 98% excited about the whole procedure but 2% very nervous.  The 2% was due entirely to a woman I was vaguely remembering from an Oprah episode about 12 years ago.  She was on the show, said she had the LASIK and the result was that she felt she had sand in her eyes.  All the time.  For the rest of her life.  Egads.

I was comforted by the fact that the doctor I had chosen was very reputable, successful, and had offered special pricing for the procedure to employees and spouses at Mike's work.  I started to think that if I was a quack doctor, only interested in giving people a life sentence of 'Sand Eye',  I would not go trolling around big law firms for patients.

Turned out any hesitation or fear was for naught.  The procedure went amazingly well.  The whole deal was only about 30 minutes.  It was not painful, just kind of weird feeling... and a little Clockwork Orangey.

They send you home with all kinds of eyedrops and sunglasses and goggles to sleep in and tell you to go home and sleep for 4-6 hours.  I can tell you the truth now.  That mandated, middle of the day, 4-6 hour nap is the main reason why I did the surgery.  I settled into my nap and was in kind of a haze.  Mike came in to check on me and I remember just saying how bright everything was and could he Please! Please! Make it less bright.

When I finally woke up and could open my eyes comfortably I looked around the room, tried to focus and check out my new vision.  I looked toward the window and thought something was terribly wrong with my new eyes because it looked like the drapes had morphed into a blanket with robots on it, Eloise's baby blanket from Dee, that navy blue dress from Target I love so much, and, wait, is that Mike's robe?

This is how Mike had made things less bright.  It was a beautiful sight. 

A few minutes later I was downstairs eating pizza and then sitting on the couch watching Bravo.  No glasses, no contacts, and the Real Housewives of NYC-- it was a miracle.  The next morning I went in for a follow up to have my eyes tested.  Less than 24 hours after the procedure I had 20/20 vision.  I am still in awe of my new eyes and so thankful for my vision.  

The only down side to this whole procedure?  Mike has appropriated the free, temporary, disposable, hideous, sunglasses they provided at the eye doctor post surgery and is wearing them as real sunglasses. Everyday.  To work.  In public.  With me.  Anyone who knows Mike will not be surprised by this at all.  So even though I have perfect vision now, I am apparently married to the world's biggest NASCAR fan or perhaps even Richard Petty himself.

sigh.